I know gender reveal parties are controversial.

Sometimes they cause cringey TikTok videos. Sometimes they start California Wildfires.

Gender is a social construct. My children should be free to explore and discover its interfluidity in their own time. We should really call them sex reveal parties (though the sex reveal happens in the pregnancy announcement – amirite?)

Here’s my justification for gender reveal parties: pregnancy is a time of hope, and expectation, and a lot of unknowns. A baby’s sex is one of the few bits of information we get to learn in advance. A gender reveal party isn’t about male or female – it celebrates getting to know the baby better before it’s born, if only in a small way.

It’s also a nice excuse to gather friends and family before everything changes. These people will hopefully be invested in the baby’s life. The party lets these people share in the expectation and the unknown.

Of course, my gender reveal party ideal gets blown out of the water every time a YouTube couple sees a puff of blue or pink smoke and the color sends them trotting around the party like they’ve hit a walk-off Home Run.

When we cheer, I hope we celebrate the right reasons.